Ever wonder how many marriages were broken up by one spouse giving the wrong answer to the other spouse asking “Does this [insert clothing item here] make me look fat?” (Usually, this is a woman asking a man, but you never know…) Well, imagine being asked “Does this teapot make me look fat?” What could that possibly mean, and how could someone give an answer that didn’t put him or her on the hotseat (or in the proverbial doghouse)?

The only thing I can think that the person asking this could have meant was if holding a teapot made her look fat. Sort of makes sense. Most teapots are short and squat, so if you’re holding one, and if your basic shape is the same, the teapot could go a bit of a ways toward emphasizing that shape. Thus, a teapot could make you look fat.
However, the inquirer here could have meant something more obscure, such as does drinking tea, that is touted by some to help you lose weight, imply that you think you are fat and need to lose weight? A bit of a stretch, but it’s amazing how some folks’ minds work.
There are some tall, relatively thin teapots, but they are more for serving than steeping, which ends up being done by the stunt-double teapot. The shape of a teapot is designed to optimize steeping conditions when using loose leaf teas. The leaves get to spread out and open. Even the fannings and dust style teas can more fully infuse when steeped loose in one of these short, squat pots (that definitely don’t make you look fat).
Plus, there are many flavored teas out there that can take the place of those holiday desserts and thereby help you lose weight or keep from gaining it. A few examples:
- Pumpkin Spice Flavored Black Tea – just because Thanksgiving has passed, the appeal of pumpkin in everything from soups to muffins to pies is not diminished for us true lovers of this special squash, and this is one of the better versions of pumpkin-flavored tea.
- Cranberry Orange Flavored Black Tea – cranberry is a seasonal favorite and when combined with the natural flavor of orange, is even more desserty.
- Holiday Spiced Tea – cinnamon, orange, and cloves transform this black tea into a true taste sensation, and a little milk and sweetener takes it a level higher.
- Apple Spice naturally flavored black tea – great instead of that high-calorie apple pie.
- Cinnamon naturally flavored black tea – say no to the cinnamon rolls and yes to a cuppa this tea.
- Scottish Caramel Toffee Pu-erh Tea – Loose Leaf – caramel is another great holiday flavor, but a cuppa this tea will save you from cavities and extra poundage.
Drink a few of these, and when you ask someone “Does this teapot make me look fat,” they will say, “No way!”
Happy Holidays!
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